Back to December

Today is the first day of December. And obviously, the start of a brand new month. November had it's ups, but it definitely had more downs and I'm glad that it's over with. 

However December is a month that I have struggled with for years. A few years back it was really the last happy month I had for almost a year. And while I  try not to be dramatic about it (or obsess over what I could have changed) I seem to have the lyrics to "Back to December" by Taylor Swift constantly playing through my head. That song came out while I was battling a pretty rough demon and I spent countless nights in my dorm room up at Utah State crying myself to sleep to  the chorus  in that song. The chorus was just perfect for my situation, I can't help but feel like it's a discussion I would constantly have with myself in 2011 (rather than how Taylor sings it to a boyfriend). 

I think the biggest thing I need to establish within myself is that I DONT "go back to December all the time." My life is so wonderful, and wouldn't change anything if it would change the happiness I experience today. And even if I could change  certain situations, it was other people's agency, and I don't have the power or abilty to change that. Nobody does except for the person themselves. 

On a happier note: it's December! Christmas lights and baking galore! Hot cocoa and movies and friends and family! I cannot wait for Christmas 2014 to be super fantastic! Tis the season, right!? (: