Well, well, well. It's been a hot minute since I've blogged about life! I thought I'd do a quick post to recap a little bit of what Erron and I have been up to this summer. (:
As my Spring semester ended, I still wasn't quite sure what I was going to do for the summer. I had looked at nannying jobs out of state, as well as the usual "summer jobs" within my own city. I wasn't having any luck and it hit me that I didn't feel right about spending my summer working. And when I made that realization, I discovered that I was to enroll myself in summer school for the first time in my entire life.
The classes I needed lined up impeccably well, and the next week I embarked on my summer of schooling. I took 17 credits this summer, a task that I didn't presume to be hard when I signed up, but one that I am now seeing the effects of as I spend my days working through anxiety and depression.
For those who haven't been to school during the summer semester, it's a little bit different than the traditional model. Since you only have a couple months to complete a whole semester, the school divides your semester into two blocks. This is where my mistaken "easiness" was presumed. Each block is 7 weeks long, so the first block goes from May to the end of June, and the second block goes from July to the end of August. My first block I had 3 classes, totaling 10 credits. Since I've always gone to school full-time (at least 12 credits) I assumed that while school would be going faster, 10 credits was definitely do-able.
Wrong. So completely wrong.
I struggled though my classes and came out excelling at all of them. Even my "advanced philosophy" class that was an absolute nightmare because I don't really give a crap about "the coming singularity" and when humans merge with robots. But whatever, A+ for Chels.
And while the first block was really really stressful, and really really hard, I didn't expect that it could get any worse. And that was where I was wrong. Again.
My second block didn't start out well, mostly because my Nana and Papa have been planning a family reunion/50th wedding anniversary celebration at Aspen Grove for the last year or so. And I spent almost that entire first week away from school. Which, given a normal semester, wouldn't have been an issue, but by even mentally being on vacation, I had missed out on at least two full weeks of school. And it went downhill from there.
This last month has been so completely depressing that I spent almost nearly a full week after my birthday lying and lounging around my house. My inner happiness was completely diminished. I only had 7 credits this block, but I felt as if I was failing both of my classes. In reality, I am not failing either of them but attempting to learn a language in a matter of a couple months is no small task. While I may be excelling in the class, I still cannot speak French. And it's frustrating. And my other class has been no walk in the park either.
However, even with all my school "failures" this summer, I have still had quite an adventurous season! Erron and I decided back in April or May that we were going to spend our free-time in the mountains and across the state. We decided that we wanted to fall in love with Utah, and consequently, we have.
The thought of us moving someday isn't as much of a hallelujah anymore, as it originally was. We have been up canyons, and playing on rope swings in the middle of nowhere. We have gone camping, and we have shared our nights with hot dogs and friends more times than I can count.
However, I am still anticipating our eventual move. I'm a very sentimental person, and sometimes it makes my life fuller, but at other times I believe it makes it easier for me to be filled with heartache. Because of past experiences, living in Utah County has not been the dream that I wish it could be. Just about a month ago I had a run-in with somebody who I don't get along with. I didn't even speak to that person, but the very act of seeing them filled me with sadness. I shouldn't care, but I do. And it's like ugh. Whatever. (:
But there are also so many great things about being down here in "the valley." I love living with my grandparents, I get to see and interact with them all the time. I love the relationships that I have built with them, and I will always cherish the time I have spent here.
I love the school that I go to. I've really thrived in my studies at UVU. I've made friends, and succeeded in my classes, and have finally found a major that I absolutely love.
And Erron and I have grown closer to one another. Being "far away" from our life long friends as well as our family members hasn't been as easy as we thought it would be. Our communication with everybody has grown a lot stronger, and we have some of the very best friends a person could have! (Although, only a handful of those friends do actually live nearby.) But Erron and I have had to grow through struggles and challenges that we never anticipated, and I can say with confidence that I have never felt as much love for my darling husband as I currently feel today.
And my relationship with my Savior and Heavenly Parents has grown immensely. I am so incredibly blessed to be a member of the gospel of Christ. I know without a doubt that my Savior lives, and that He loves me. I pray every single day, that I can be a little more like Him through my everyday actions.
This summer has been great. It's been hard, and crazy, and dirty, and tiring. But I couldn't have asked for anything better. (Except mayyybeee to just be GRADUATED already. Ugh.) (;