Wednesday, May 7, 2014

You Got Married WHEN!?

I got married at age 20.
There, it's out.

To a lot of my friends I know this is not a shock. I grew up in Utah, where the population is heavily LDS (Mormon). And getting married young is not really something people blink twice at. I pulled this up from Google:

  1. "Utah is tied with Idaho for the state where people get married the youngest. The men get married for the first time at a median age of 25.5 years old, the second lowest in the country, and the women at 23.3 years — the lowest in the country."
  2. So, yeah, I'm still below average, but by 3 years. I don't really care, I knew it was the right thing to do, so I did it!
What I want to share with you today is why I chose to get married so young. And how I knew that at age 20 I was making the right decision. First, I want to preface this with the fact that I am a Christian. I am a devout member of the LDS church. Yep, I'm a Mormon! And with my faith I believe that marriage is part of God's plan. I know it doesn't work out for everyone in this life, but I do believe that we will all have eternal companions in the life to come. But there was a point in my life when I didn't think "marriage was for me." This was when I started dating around age 15. Being a young girl in love with her first boyfriend I was convinced that I was going to get married to that boy and live forever and ever with him. But when that all came shattering down around me, like it does for most of us, I was heartbroken. And the more guys I dated, and even when I "got over" this first boy, I still found that living with somebody for the rest of my life and BEYOND--freaked me out. I liked bouncing from boy to boy. It was a game to me. I just dated boys until I got bored and then I would break up with them (sometimes more than once..) but my entire attitude changed when I came home from Utah State University. I became active in my church more than I ever was, and attended my Singles Ward as frequently as I could. Now this isn't a story about how I met my husband, but yes, I met him in that very ward.

And that was when I knew. Not right away, of course. I wouldn't say it was love at first sight. Because that sounds romantic, but it's just not true. I believe you can have a "like" or "lust" at first sight, but not true and eternal, undying love. But by our 3rd date, I knew. I knew that I loved Erron in a different way than any other person on Earth. I knew that there was something magical there. And I knew that I was going to be with him for a long time. I went from completely bored out of my mind with boys-never desiring to commit, to feeling an eternal connection with a boy I'd known for only 6 months and only been on dates with THREE times! (Talk about a crazy-lady!)

We only dated for 6 months when the talk of marriage came up. And I told him, that YES, I wanted to get married to HIM. But I also told him, NO, the time was not right. A midst all of the crazy love sick chaos was also the problem of my parents. They did not want their oldest child, their baby girl to get married so young. And for good reason. But 3 more months went on, Erron and I discussed marriage again, and that time I knew it was right. So 9 months into dating, we got engaged. And 3 months later, we were married. 

My decision to get married in the Fall, after only 3 months of engagement was based on a couple of things. First, my bishop recommended that we keep our engagement short. Since both Erron and I believe in not having sex before marriage, our bishop advised that in order to make sure "things go smoothly (;" we keep our engagement short and sweet. Secondly, I have always dreamed of a Spring or Summer wedding. With beautiful flowers and green grass! But the problem with getting engaged in July, was that Summer was definitely out of the picture. So I dwelled on early Spring. But the more I prayed, and the closer I got with my Heavenly Father I knew that getting married in September was the path that we were supposed to take. I would spend time after time on my knees asking if getting married at only age 20 would be the right choice. If being eternally sealed to Erron in a few short months was the direction God wanted us to take together. And guess who got married at age 20!? (;

I wont lie, marriage the first year was ROUGH. My mother always told me that the first year is the "honeymoon phase" and that it is the best it will ever be. And that must've been true for my parents and for lots of other human beings, but man was the first year hard for us! With balancing schedules, and talks about differing political views, and different family traditions, it was hard. But now we're nearing year 2, and I can definitely tell you all those times I locked myself in our bathroom to get away from Erron in our one bedroom apartment, and all the times I fell asleep choking on tears about trivial things; I can tell you it was ALL worth it. I'm only 21, but I am the luckiest girl on Earth. I feel like I have such a happy marriage, and such a blessed life.

Don't worry about what the status quo says. All that matters in the choice of marriage is you, your partner, and if you believe in Him, God. These are the only people that decide when the right time is for you. It's marriage, it's a HUGE deal, so don't worry about anybody who isn't going to be snuggling up next to you in bed every night. (:

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